What She Needs Read online

  He begins moving his tongue slower and more passionately; exploring my mouth like it’s a newfound discovery. He inserts two fingers in my little lady and she gladly welcomes the penetration, instantly tightening around him. Although I don’t want this to happen with David my mind and body are too numb to stop him. I haven’t had anything inside of me in so long and even though it’s just his fingers it feels so good. He kisses and nips his way across my cheek to my ear. “Please consider this, baby.” He whispers to me. I let out a soft moan as he glides his tongue down the side of my neck to my breasts that are still sitting in position. He tugs at my hair, gently making my back arch off of the sofa then puts his mouth on my nipple sucking, nibbling, and licking one and then moving to the other. He continues to move his fingers in and out of me causing my insides to tighten from the feeling I’ve missed so much. I start to move my hips meeting him thrust for thrust trying to give my body the orgasm it so desperately needs. I’m so caught up in the moment I didn’t notice that he has let go of the hold on my hair and is using his now free hand to pull my pajamas off me and placing them on the floor. Abruptly, he snatches his fingers out of me.

  “No . . . please . . . don’t stop.” I beg through my harsh breathing.

  He drops to his knees and plunges into my little lady face first sucking up all of her nectar then making her soaking wet all over again.

  “David! Ahhh!” I cry out as I absorb his carnal attempts to win me back.

  He takes his middle and index finger and opens up my little lady to give him better access to her clitoris then he begins to lick and suck on it then twirl his tongue around her opening. Everything we’ve discussed is a blur; half of our conversation is forgotten. I’m laying here letting David do what he does best to me. His tongue has the power to make my whole body stand at attention and I’ve missed it so much. I shut my eyes as tight as I can to drown out my surroundings as I let David guide my body to ecstasy. My insides continue to wind tighter and I know he feels it because he’s starting to lick slower and more sensually all over my swollen little lady. With one final flick of his tongue I let go into his mouth moaning and groaning as my body savors the best feeling it’s had in over a month.

  When I come down my orgasmic high David has settled in on the sofa and my legs are resting on his lap.

  “Hey.” He says to me once our eyes meet.

  “Hey.” I answer back with a shy smile.

  “How was that?”

  “Mmmmm,” is all I can say as a response.

  “Mmmmm is right. You taste so good.”

  If I were any lighter he’d see my cheeks heating. That orgasm was so good my little lady is still throbbing.

  “So what do you think?” He asks.

  “What do I think about what?” I ask feigning confusion hoping he doesn’t ask me to take him back again.

  “About getting back together and restarting our family.” He’s looking me straight in the eye.

  “David, why do you always do this?”

  “Do what?”

  “Have sex with me then try to persuade me to do what you want me to do.”

  “I’m sorry, that’s not my intention.” He takes a deep breath. “Alicia, these last two and a half months have been so hard without you. I miss waking up to you and kissing you good night. I miss our laughs and our arguments. I . . . I just miss you, and I want you back home with me.”

  Maybe he has changed, but as sincere as he sounds I don’t want to take that chance. There is too much to consider; not just the baby but now I’d have to deal with her mother, too. That’s not something I’m willing to do. I sit upright and grab his hand. “I’m sorry but we’re not going to get back together. I don’t mind hanging out with you for the rest of your trip but when you leave to go back to Florida we will only be friends. It’s all I’m willing to give you at this point.” Suddenly I feel uncomfortable. “Excuse me.” I say as I stand and head down the hall to my room, close the door, and then sit down on the floor.

  Why does David feel like I’m always going to be his beck and call? Why does he want me back so badly? To control me? To hurt me again? As happy as I was for most of our marriage I don’t think I could ever be that happy with him again. I’ve forgiven him for cheating on me but my problem is forgetting it. I will never forget it; my heart and my mind won’t let me. There is no purpose in being in a relationship with someone that you can’t trust. I stand up and walk to the bathroom and take a look at myself in the mirror. I don’t look like that stressed out woman that I was only a couple of months ago. I’m the new Alicia . . . Alicia McAllister. I’m starting a new journey in my life, and it doesn’t include David Barfield. I take a deep breath. “Tell him you’ll see him tomorrow. You have a hot breakfast date in the morning.” I tell the reflection in the mirror.

  I wash my face, clean up my little lady and then walk back down the hall toward the living room. I hear David talking on the phone so I stop at the end of the hallway so that he can’t see me.

  “How is she?” I hear him say. “Give her a kiss for me okay . . . I know I left all of a sudden but I had to meet with the theme park owners in Australia. I’ll be back on Wednesday for Skye’s appointment.”

  He must be talking to Lauren, but why is he telling her that he’s in Australia?

  This asshole is never going to change. He’s lying about where he is, there is no telling what he has lied to me about. I clear my throat and step out into the hallway. He looks at me and smiles then continues his conversation. “Hey, I have to go. I’ll call you later.” He says then hangs up the phone.

  “So why didn’t you tell her you were here with me?” I ask, angry for some apparent reason.

  “Because it’s none of her business.” He answers as calm as ever.

  “David, are you in a relationship with Lauren?”

  “No, I told you we were just co-parenting.”

  “Then why do you feel the need to lie to her?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I take a deep breath to calm myself down. “This is why we can’t be together. You’re not going to change, and I’m not willing to go through anymore drama with you, David, but Lauren will easily accept your bullshit so stop co-parenting and go be with her, you guys already have a child together anyway.”

  “But I don’t want Lauren, I want you.” He sighs. “Would you like for me to call her back and tell her where I am?”

  “I don’t give a damn what you do. You’re not my husband anymore.” I sigh. “Look, it’s late and I have a meeting in the morning. Why don’t you just leave and I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m done?”

  I walk over to the door and open it for him. He stands and walks toward it, but before he leaves he turns to me and says, “I’m going to change your mind before I leave here. You’re going to be my girl again Alicia.”

  “Yeah, I doubt that. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I say before I close the door in his face then walk to my room and crawl into bed. I’m going to have to learn to deal with my emotions. Sure I’m home sick but because I couldn’t wait for Tamia to call me back I have to deal with David for the next couple of days. I have too much going on with work and trying to adjust to my new country to be dealing with old baggage. What am I going to do? I toss and turn until I fall asleep.

  chapter 2

  My alarm goes off at nine o’clock sharp and I sit up and look on the other side of my bed to see if I’m alone. When I notice that I am, I sigh in relief then hit the snooze button on my alarm clock and lay back down. My legs are still tingling from the amazing orgasm David gave me last night that caused me to stay up far too late. I just need ten more minutes of sleep. I cover my face with my blanket and try to doze off. I’m so tired I want to cry. Dealing with David last night was stressful, and all I want to do today is stay in bed and get myself ready for my work week, but unfortunately I have to deal with his ass until Tuesday.

  After tossing and turning all night long, I’ve decided that I really don’t want
to rekindle my relationship with David, especially after overhearing his conversation with Lauren, his child’s mother, telling her he’s in Australia when he’s here in England with me. Even if I was considering it before, last night showed me that he really hasn’t changed, and the new Alicia has a no tolerance for bullshit. Half of me is still considering avoiding him and letting him wander around London on his own since I told him not to come here anyway. On the plus side, he did promise to take me to Italy and I’ve always wanted to go there.

  I guess I’ll just make the most of it.

  My alarm clock goes off again and I finally clamber out of bed and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t I have any bags under my eyes but I look just like I feel; tired and restless. I turn on the shower, take off my clothes and then step in. The water is beating down on me at full force and it feels so good. I stand there for I don’t know how long and let it relieve some of my tension while I let my mind wander.

  From the time I started high school, my life was meticulously planned out. I was going to go to college, get my MBA, have a great career, then get married and have some children. Everything was going to be a success; my marriage, my career. I wasn’t going to get divorced like my parents did. I was going to raise my children in a house with their mother and father. My husband and I were going to work out our differences however we saw fit, but we weren’t going to let our children suffer because of our selfishness.

  My life was not supposed to end up this way. I’m almost thirty and freshly divorced because my husband cheated on me. The scary part about it is that, as much as I try to run from my feelings for him, the truth is that I still love him and I probably always will. But I had to leave him, because if I would have stayed he wouldn’t have changed. He showed me that after I forgave him countless times. Everything would be ok for a few days then something would happen that would cause him to make a bad decision that would ultimately break my heart. I didn’t want to divorce David, we were not supposed to get a divorce, that wasn’t part of the plan I originated in high school, but in my heart I know that if I hadn’t done it, things would have just gotten worse. Yes, it hurts, and yes, sometimes I get lonely at night but I’ve listened to enough love songs to know that this unhappiness that I feel is only temporary and staying married to him would have caused me a lifetime of pain and heartache.

  I close my eyes to fight back the tears that are threatening. An image of Lauren with her big pregnant belly laying on my sofa pops into my head and the threatening tears automatically dry up. I have to learn to be stronger than this. I have to learn how to deal with David without having a breakdown every time I revisit the broken parts of our relationship. I will not be that bitter scorned woman that I’ve heard people talk about. I will be Alicia McAllister, the sweet, loving, and genuine person I’ve always been. Most importantly, I will not be David Barfield’s fool anymore.

  I grab my washcloth and body wash and start to wash myself being extra careful with my little lady because she is still sensitive from last night’s encounter with David. I smile thinking about how David guided me to my much-needed orgasm. That’s my problem, I’m addicted to the way he makes me feel and he knows it. What if I can’t find anyone that can do the things to my body that David does? Even if my new beau isn’t as good as David, I can make the most of it if he treats me right because there’s no orgasm in the world worth my sanity. I get out of the shower feeling refreshed that I’ve finally admitted my feelings of David to myself. I grab a towel and dry myself, mentally vowing to cut off all ties with him once he leaves on Tuesday because it’s the only way I can begin to move on.

  I wrap my towel around me and head to my walk-in closet to find something to wear to my meeting. After contemplating for almost ten minutes I decide on a pair of jeans, a tan shirt and a pair of brown Gucci flats. I apply my makeup lightly, focusing more on my lips and eyelashes. I look over at my alarm clock to notice that it’s already 9:35 AM and I’m late. I fix my hair quickly, happy that it falls into place and I only needed to brush it a little. I walk down the hall toward the front door and choosing to leave my phone but grabbing my keys on the way out. Once I’m in the elevator, I hit the button for the sixteenth floor. It doesn’t take long to get there, but it felt like forever because I’m more nervous than I’ve been in a long time.

  When the elevator finally gets me to my destination, I take a deep breath and step out into the foyer. It looks totally different than it did the other night when I was here. It’s very similar to mine, except the hall is longer. With the lights on I can see that the walls are painted lime green with pictures of what appears to be abstract artwork all the way down the hallway. It looks like a setup of a grand museum.

  I didn’t notice any of this the other night.

  In the corner, just like my foyer, there is a vase with fresh flowers in it, but this vase is grander and it sits on the floor and it has at least two dozen long stemmed red roses. I walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. A moment later the door swings open, and I’m greeted by a tall older gentleman with a low-cut afro, a mustache and goatee. His hair is salt and pepper and his skin is dark and smooth.

  “Hello, Miss McAllister,” the older gentleman says to me.

  “Um . . . Err . . . Good morning,” I’m finally able to get out.

  He senses my nervousness then smiles and nods at me. “Please, come in,” he says as he moves aside to let me walk in. He’s dressed in simple black slacks, a white shirt, black tie, and he’s wearing an apron. Once I walk through the door, he closes it behind me.

  I thought my place was nice, but this place is one hundred times nicer than mine. The entrance has a grand double staircase, the floors are cream-colored marble tile with the initials SJ in darker brown to match the banisters of the staircase designed in it.

  Am I in a penthouse or a mansion?

  The older gentleman walks around to face me. He extends his hand to shake mine and says, “My name is Benjamin. I’m pleased to finally meet you.”

  Finally meet me?

  “Please, follow me,” Benjamin says as he leads me through the staircase into the entrance of the living room. “Please, have a seat,” he says gesturing to the sofa.

  I sit down on the oversized brown leather love seat and observe the room. The floors are hardwood, maybe mahogany. There is a matching sofa sitting adjacent to the love seat and on the other side of the room is a chaise lounge, and of course, it matches the other furniture. All of it is decorative with patterned brown, red, and beige pillows. There is a beige fur rug in the middle of the floor that a fancy dark wood coffee table sits on. There is a gas burning fireplace on the wall. What catches my eye is the very disturbing piece of art above the fireplace. It’s an oil painting of five partially naked women in different stances. Their bodies oddly shaped and their faces are disfigured. I don’t know much about art, but this can’t be good art. I tilt my head to the side trying to look at it from a different angle, but I still don’t get it.

  “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon,” I hear someone say in a deep sexy voice laced with a British accent. I turn around and look into the eyes of the ever so handsome Heath St. James, my breakfast meeting date, and he looks as scrumptious as he did last night in those blue jogging pants and white tank top that show off his strong pectorals and biceps. His dark chocolate skin looks smooth and unblemished. His hair is black and shiny, complementing his eyes, and his lips, oh those lips. I briefly remember him kissing me with them last night. My little lady clenches at the thought.

  Hold yourself together, Alicia!

  He walks around to where I’m sitting and I stand up to greet him. He pulls me into his embrace and says, “I was hoping you wouldn’t forget.”

  Oh my gosh he smells good. It feels so good in his arms. My eyes roll in the back of my head, and I think I’m going to pass out. “Sorry I’m late,” is the only thing I could think of as a response.

  Why do I sound so breathy?

>   “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here,” he says as he lets me go. “Please sit,” he says gesturing at my spot on the love seat. He takes his seat on the sofa and stares at me with those sexy dark eyes. “I hope you’re hungry. Benjamin has prepared quite a feast for us.”

  “I’m starving.” But not for food. I have to control my thoughts when I’m around him before I end up introducing him to my little lady.

  He stands and reaches for my hand. Once I take his, he leads me through another entrance to a dining room where there is a table large enough to seat twelve people, and there is food covering half of it. Heath pulls my chair out for me and waits for me to get situated before taking his seat across the table from me.

  “Is anyone joining us?” I ask curiously.

  He chuckles. “No, I just asked Benjamin to make sure we covered all of the bases.”

  “I appreciate that, Heath, but there’s no way we’d be able to eat all of this.”

  “That’s ok, just take what you want, we’ll find something to do with the rest.”

  I nod then put a waffle, two slices of bacon, two sausages and some eggs on a plate. Heath fixes himself a bowl of oatmeal with bananas and walnuts and a plate of eggs, bacon, and a biscuit.

  I start to eat my food and everything tastes so good. I look up at Heath who’s also eating but hasn’t seemed to take his eyes off me, and I’m a little embarrassed.